Perfection –  because of shame? 

Following on from my article “Price of Perfection” posted recently..  A friend of mine, a past client,  mentioned that a tendency towards perfectionism can come from shame. She and I both know that one! She recommended this TED talk from Brene Brown.  I had seen it before and found it really helpful.  Always worth another look when you have had problems in the past – they can try and sneak up on you again! 

Have a look: 

Price of Perfection

The Price of Perfection

I wrote this article from my own struggles with trying to be perfect – so I wouldn’t get caught out making any mistakes with ensuing pain and disgrace!

It was published by Woman Alive magazine in their May 2001 edition. It is reprinted by permission of Woman Alive.

I hope anyone reading this will find it useful.  Please click on the title and the article will be shown…

Best wishes for being who you are!



The Importance of a Good Ending

Wise words Nick. wishing you well in your new life adventure.

The Sensitive Gut

endingsThis week I left The IBS Network.  I had been involved with the charity for 25 years as medical adviser, editor of Gut Reaction, volunteer CEO and chair of trustees.  I had seen it through bad times and better.  And like a marriage, the organisation and I had become part of each other.  But with the charity buoyant, a competent team of office staff in place and  supported by a dedicated board of trustees and an enthusiastic cohort of advisers, it was time to hand over and leave.

This year’s Christmas party was also my leaving do.  I took the opportunity to thank the sfaff, trustees and volunteers for their dedication to the charity over many years, to praise their success and to encourage the patients and health care professionals on the advisory board to continue to support what is a vital service for many people with IBS.   Everybody then…

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Decoding the symptoms of your IBS

Excellent piece – the connection between physical symptoms and emotional triggers are well explained. The second to last paragraph on “secondary gain” particularly revealing. Unconsciously demanding what we dare not or cannot speak out or ask.

The Sensitive Gut

enigma-plugboardOne of the first lessons people learn when they attend self help groups for IBS is that everybody’s symptoms are different.  Some people have diarrhoea and abdominal pain that starts early in the morning and doesn’t let up until they are at work, others suffer with bloating later in the day,  others are constipated whenever they go away anywhere.  And it’s not just the bowel symptoms that vary, people diagnosed with IBS often have a variety of other symptoms. Backache, fatigue,  headaches, breathlessness, indigestion are some of the most common, but any bodily symptom can co-exist with IBS.  Whether the illness is diagnosed as IBS or ME or Fibromyalgia or any other syndrome depends on which symptoms might predominate and which doctor they see, but whatever the diagnosis, the symptoms of these overlapping conditions vary so much that they might be regarded as an individual expression of who you are…

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Nick Read post – The things that happen: childhood trauma and IBS later in life.

This is another superb post about IBS from Nick, and a very brave lady.

“Two weeks ago I received a letter from Judith.  This led to the following correspondence, which, with her permission, I have reproduced here with just a few minor edits.  Over the course of three e…

Source: The things that happen: childhood trauma and IBS later in life.

Love the unsolved questions in your heart…

I was limply idling away time after doing some work on the computer on the history of our old house we are thinking of moving from.  Walking a new path is uncertain, so many questions and so much unresolved…   I found this quote and it helped this present time sit a little more comfortably.

an unfamiliar path to walk

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters to a Young Poet


ADHD and change.. and change..!

Andrew always makes good sense when supporting people who have ADHD or ADD profiles.

As I begin another changing season in my life, I found this helpful:

ADHD means starting over and over