Following on from my article “Price of Perfection” posted recently.. A friend of mine, a past client, mentioned that a tendency towards perfectionism can come from shame. She and I both know that one! She recommended this TED talk from Brene Brown. I had seen it before and found it really helpful. Always worth another look when you have had problems in the past – they can try and sneak up on you again!
This week I left The IBS Network. I had been involved with the charity for 25 years as medical adviser, editor of Gut Reaction, volunteer CEO and chair of trustees. I had seen it through bad times and better. And like a marriage, the organisation and I had become part of each other. But with the charity buoyant, a competent team of office staff in place and supported by a dedicated board of trustees and an enthusiastic cohort of advisers, it was time to hand over and leave.
This year’s Christmas party was also my leaving do. I took the opportunity to thank the sfaff, trustees and volunteers for their dedication to the charity over many years, to praise their success and to encourage the patients and health care professionals on the advisory board to continue to support what is a vital service for many people with IBS. Everybody then…
Excellent piece – the connection between physical symptoms and emotional triggers are well explained. The second to last paragraph on “secondary gain” particularly revealing. Unconsciously demanding what we dare not or cannot speak out or ask.
One of the first lessons people learn when they attend self help groups for IBS is that everybody’s symptoms are different. Some people have diarrhoea and abdominal pain that starts early in the morning and doesn’t let up until they are at work, others suffer with bloating later in the day, others are constipated whenever they go away anywhere. And it’s not just the bowel symptoms that vary, people diagnosed with IBS often have a variety of other symptoms. Backache, fatigue, headaches, breathlessness, indigestion are some of the most common, but any bodily symptom can co-exist with IBS. Whether the illness is diagnosed as IBS or ME or Fibromyalgia or any other syndrome depends on which symptoms might predominate and which doctor they see, but whatever the diagnosis, the symptoms of these overlapping conditions vary so much that they might be regarded as an individual expression of who you are…
A superb account from a young person I admire and love very much. I can testify to the truth she has written from my own experiences. I pray I can have the strength to share mine one day so articulately and with such passion.
I was limply idling away time after doing some work on the computer on the history of our old house we are thinking of moving from. Walking a new path is uncertain, so many questions and so much unresolved… I found this quote and it helped this present time sit a little more comfortably.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves… Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”