Wondering when I will get enough free time for my big projects RAF family history…
Our house history …
My office tidying and clearing…
“Too many coincidences”… Book to edit …
Blog …
LATER that day… I did type up some of the OTH history stuff I have collected . decided to JUST DO IT!!! Yes! Well done me..
Okay so the filing isn’t done, I still have some tidying to so – but I did do what was important to me!
And I posted this on my blog 🎉🎁🎈
at the beginning of the sorting out phase…
http://thinkoutsideofthecardboardbox.blogspot.co.uk/
Dyspraxia dyslexia … but a creative and sharing lady!
Excellent!
He shuffled in, sat down heavily and fixed me with a watery stare. ‘You know them pills you gave me last time, doc?’ He sucked in his breath noisily and shook his head. ‘No good! They made me worse. I wasn’t able to go for a week. So I stopped taking them.’
Now this was the fourth prescription I had given Ted in as many weeks and it was becoming clear to me that nothing was likely to work. In fact, it almost seemed that he didn’t want it to work. We were engaged in a therapeutic dance where the only gain was that our caring relationship might go on forever.
Of course, what often tends to happen is that after the doctor has run out of options, patients with IBS is sent off for more tests or referred to gastroenterologists or dietitians. The whole paso doble starts all over…
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My blog back in November 2013 began with this quote:
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Harold Whitman
In April this year (only a month and a half ago!) I made the decision to cease being a practicing psychologist. I could say I finally got it right and had no more need to practice – ha ha, boom boom! Not true – I found that the more I learnt and experienced in the world of understanding how people tick, unravelling problems, offering possible solutions and support, the more I realised how little I knew. Each person is a uniquely designed individual, with particular past and present circumstances and, no matter how much I wanted to carry on doing this work an vocation, I found myself becoming increasing exhausted. It is true I have also reached State Pension Age (hurrah!) but also it is tiring to actively listen, absorb, reflect back to and offer a way forward. I had to value myself as much as those I sought to help.
Whitman’s quote talked about coming alive and I wondered how I could find something that would enliven and re-energise my mind, body and spirit.
When my husband dropped his work load to 12 weeks out of 52, he had to make that same search. A wise and dear friend of ours, Ruth, told him not to make any decisions or changes for at least three months. It was good advice for him and he now enjoys a slower pace of life, having time to travel, explore writing about the incidents in his life and work that he considered to involve “too many co-incidences” to be accident or mere fate. I realised I was a tad jealous and the green eyed goddess plagued me with negative thoughts about my previous desire to write.
I had grown enough in myself to no longer crave a label or title to give me credence as a human being with a purpose on this earth. True, the craving can sneak back, but I have learned to speak to it as I used to my Great Dane when she tried to get above herself: “get down!” So why the writer-envy? Any strong emotional reaction interests me and I explored what I was feeling.
Brian has never said he was a writer and still says so. He is a very good story teller and raconteur. He does a better job of telling jokes than I do as he usually remembers the punch line… always helpful. Yet he felt the pull to write down the stories that he told and came up with collating the “co-incidences” that provided such encouragement and hope to him, to me and to those he shared the stories with. He has written them down. As far as he is concerned they are now ‘done’, written and finished. My writing training – creative, professional and academic – made me scream: “No way is that finished! Writing is all about re-writing, don’t you know that!”
He looked puzzled: “I enjoyed remembering it all and I enjoyed writing it. What’s more to do?”
What more indeed. Enjoyment. En-joy-ment: It gave him joy to do it. When had I last felt I enjoyed something? Since writing my doctoral thesis, any intended writing projects had overwhelmed me and filled me with foreboding and exhaustion. No joy.
The idea of writing a blog to put out there what I was itching to, seemed such a paltry thing to my mind. I compared it to the published novels, collections of poems and academic works that I had hoped to achieve like many of my contemporaries and colleagues. Yet where did I go if I wanted encouragement, information, answers, discussions, specialist knowledge or particular strategies to assist me in difficulties? The internet. What often came up – blogs…
So I told myself: “Sharman, do something you can do, something that will enrich your life and hopefully the lives of others, something that will give you JOY. Just do it!!! as Nike says.”
Well, I have discovered that writing this post HAS has given me joy. I feel ALIVE!
I trust the world is ready for me in my ‘aliveness’…
Photograph Vancouver sunset taken by Rob Newey http://www.robneweymusic.com. February 2014.
Seeing this scene filled me with awe at the majesty of nature, but also the technical skill that Rob employed in composing and taking this shot. He is a skilled and talented musician and song writer who also has this creative talent.
The shot is artistically beautiful and well composed with a clarity in the photograph difficult to attain. The colour combinations and the texture of the trees and mountains, the movement in the sky was thrilling. Just to meditate and stop to gaze at this picture took me out of myself and my little world of doings and endless ‘stuff’.
On another level, Vancouver was a special place for me as it was where my long lost half brother had grown up. We met when he was 33 and I was 44. I went to visit with him in this country that my mother and I weren’t taken to by my father when he emigrated. Years ago of course…. I was three when he left.
Crossing the border from USA to Canada was a watershed in that I had been given to believe I wasn’t legally allowed to go into Canada. Funny how things can come into your mind that aren’t at all true! I wonder who put that thought there… Hmm.
So, I may have grown up a Canadian had things been different. Would I have been so impressed by the countryside and scenic beauty of the land had I lived their always? Do I remember to look at the South Downs where we live and appreciate what is around me?
A reminder to me : Embrace all you see Sharman and let it into your soul and spirit so your body may vibrate with the wonder of it all.
Time out, lying on the grass looking up at the sky… Do this more often…
Yesterday you said tomorrow
last spring and my first real walk in the country… something to reflect on whilst it is still the tail end of winter…
Although my neurodiverse profile doesnt include my being good at organisation and detail, I was pleased that my tendency towards perfection if at all possible helped last weekend! Godfrey and Gill Birtill came to stay with us whilst they worked hard at two ‘Glory In The Pub’ events and at leading worship and speaking at our church. All went smoothly… phew!
sharmansworld 