ADHD and change.. and change..!

Andrew always makes good sense when supporting people who have ADHD or ADD profiles.

As I begin another changing season in my life, I found this helpful:

ADHD means starting over and over

Just do it! 

Wondering when I will get enough free time for my big projects RAF family history…

Our house history …

My office tidying and clearing…

“Too many coincidences”… Book to edit …

Blog …

LATER that day… I did type up some of the OTH history stuff I have collected . decided to JUST DO IT!!! Yes! Well done me..
Okay so the filing isn’t done, I still have some tidying to so – but I did do what was important to me! 
And I posted this on my blog 🎉🎁🎈

what do I ‘do’?

I am in the process of re-organising my files, books, papers, computer files and all the material I have collected over the last 16 years in this home, plus the ‘stuff’ that came with me in the previous four moves.

I always find it hard to make up a file title let alone a snappy title for an article, blog piece or book.  Definitions of words have to be checked out for my ideas and they can often give a clue to something quite profound.

My journal writing files are full of typed documents, scribbling, sketches, photos, film clips and music.  How did someone who wasn’t much of a writer at school come to begin pouring out poetry and prose when I was coming up for thirty years old?

Therapy.  Therapeutic. Downloading swirling emotions into words and drawings and onto pages. Better out than in.  Better than clogging up my inner world.

I found this link whilst trawling the internet:



Is your doctor or your dietitian keeping you in IBS?

Is your doctor or your dietitian keeping you in IBS?


The Sensitive Gut

Tired-doctor3He shuffled in, sat down heavily and fixed me with a watery stare.  ‘You know them pills you gave me last time, doc?’  He sucked in his breath noisily and shook his head.  ‘No good!  They made me worse.  I wasn’t able to go for a week.  So I stopped taking them.’

Now this was the fourth prescription I had given Ted in as many weeks and it was becoming clear to me that nothing was likely to work.  In fact, it almost seemed that he didn’t want it to work. We were engaged in a therapeutic dance where the only gain was that our caring relationship might go on forever.

Of course, what often tends to happen is that after the doctor has run out of options, patients with IBS is sent off for more tests or referred to gastroenterologists or dietitians. The whole paso doble starts all over…

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recommended: To Let Go Takes Love – a beautiful poem about the power of letting go

recommended: To Let Go Takes Love – a beautiful poem about the power of letting go

This is one of my most treasured poems and has helped me through many times when I wanted to cling on to someone, something, or some aspect of myself that needed to change. Charles Swindoll’s book The Grace Awakening was a revelation to me when I first read it years ago. It is one I try and re-read every so often just to make sure I am living Grace-fully to myself and others.

Coming alive… after I asked myself what makes me come alive.

My blog back in November 2013 began with this quote:

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”   ― Harold Whitman

In April this year (only a month and a half ago!) I made the decision to cease being a practicing psychologist.  I could say I finally got it right and had no more need to practice – ha ha, boom boom!  Not true – I found that the more I learnt and experienced in the world of understanding how people tick, unravelling problems, offering possible solutions and support, the more I realised how little I knew.  Each person is a uniquely designed individual, with particular past and present circumstances and, no  matter how much I wanted to carry on doing this work an vocation, I found myself becoming increasing exhausted.  It is true I have also reached State Pension Age (hurrah!) but also it is tiring to actively listen, absorb, reflect back to and offer a way forward.  I had to value myself as much as those I sought to help.

Whitman’s quote talked about coming alive and I wondered how I could find something that would enliven and re-energise my mind, body and spirit.

When my husband dropped his work load to 12 weeks out of 52, he had to make that same search.  A wise and dear friend of ours, Ruth, told him not to make any decisions or changes for at least three months.  It was good advice for him and he now enjoys a slower pace of life, having time to travel, explore writing about the incidents in his life and work that he considered to involve “too many co-incidences” to be accident or mere fate.  I realised I was a tad jealous and the green eyed goddess plagued me with negative thoughts about my previous desire to write.

I had grown enough in myself to no longer crave a label or title to give me credence as a human being with a purpose on this earth.  True, the craving can sneak back, but I have learned to speak to it as I used to my Great Dane when she tried to get above herself: “get down!”  So why the writer-envy?  Any strong emotional reaction interests me and I explored what I was feeling.

Brian has never said he was a writer and still says so. He is a very good story teller and raconteur. He does a better job of telling jokes than I do as he usually remembers the punch line… always helpful.  Yet he felt the pull to write down the stories that he told and came up with collating the “co-incidences” that provided such encouragement and hope to him, to me and to those he shared the stories with.  He has written them down. As far as he is concerned they are now ‘done’, written and finished.  My writing training – creative, professional and academic –  made me scream: “No way is that finished! Writing is all about re-writing, don’t you know that!”

He looked puzzled: “I enjoyed remembering it all and I enjoyed writing it. What’s more to do?”

What more indeed.   Enjoyment. En-joy-ment: It gave him joy to do it.  When had I last felt I enjoyed something?  Since writing my doctoral thesis, any intended writing projects had overwhelmed me and filled me with foreboding and exhaustion.  No joy.

The idea of writing a blog to put out there what I was itching to, seemed such a paltry thing to my mind.  I compared it to the published novels, collections of poems  and academic works that I had hoped to achieve like many of my contemporaries and colleagues.  Yet where did I go if I wanted encouragement, information, answers, discussions, specialist knowledge or particular strategies to assist me in difficulties? The internet. What often came up – blogs…

So I told myself: “Sharman, do something you can do, something that will enrich your life and hopefully the lives  of others, something that will give you JOY.   Just do it!!! as Nike says.”

Well, I have discovered that writing this post HAS has given me joy. I feel ALIVE!

I trust the world is ready for me in my ‘aliveness’…

A Work In Progress

Beautiful as it is, yet an unfinished work. (artist Nicki Hodges)

Beautiful as it is, yet an unfinished work. (artist Nicki Hodges)

It has been a long time since I published a blog post. How do I feel about that? Not great: ‘Oughts’, ‘shoulds’ and other demanding words come to mind when I think of the long gap.

I gaze at this picture I have on my wall at home and think again. I am on a journey, I am being ‘me’ as I travel.

How many of us feel ‘okay’ about ourselves, the way we are and our achievements? How many berate themselves for what they are not or have not done? Can’t we see what a marvelous work of creation we are and how much we do achieve, sometimes against tough odds?

“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” Arthur Ashe

Enjoy being you and enjoy your journey.

Fellow traveller,


Photograph of painting copyright Sharman Jeffries 2015