This is one of my most treasured poems and has helped me through many times when I wanted to cling on to someone, something, or some aspect of myself that needed to change. Charles Swindoll’s book The Grace Awakening was a revelation to me when I first read it years ago. It is one I try and re-read every so often just to make sure I am living Grace-fully to myself and others.
It has been a long time since I published a blog post. How do I feel about that? Not great: ‘Oughts’, ‘shoulds’ and other demanding words come to mind when I think of the long gap.
I gaze at this picture I have on my wall at home and think again. I am on a journey, I am being ‘me’ as I travel.
How many of us feel ‘okay’ about ourselves, the way we are and our achievements? How many berate themselves for what they are not or have not done? Can’t we see what a marvelous work of creation we are and how much we do achieve, sometimes against tough odds?
“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” Arthur Ashe
Enjoy being you and enjoy your journey.
Photograph of painting copyright Sharman Jeffries 2015
When I found out about Nancy Doyle’s company that supports, assesses and coaches people who are neurodiverse (ND) – GeniusWithin Ltd – I have to confess my emotional rollercoaster response took me aback.
I experienced joy, envy, excitement and self-recrimination and my thoughts went something like this:
“It’s great that someone is promoting the Genius that is within people like me! I wish I had built up that company, missed the boat now. They could even help me perhaps, that’s great! Why didn’t I build up something like that then, procrastinating again obviously. Need to do better.”
GeniusWithin Ltd’s FaceBook page http://www.facebook.com/GeniusWithinLtd?ref=ts&fref=ts shows a diagram of the positive attributes that may be found in people with a particular neurodiverse profile (from Mary Colley’s DANDA Venn diagram of the ND spectrum of difficulties).
(Thinks: “Why didn’t I think of doing that?” )
Anyone astute enough can see I do a good line in self criticism… even after all these years of personal development, spiritual mentoring, counselling, supervision and coaching… Sigh…
The title of a still relevant and useful but now very old book, says it all: “Excuse me… Your Rejection Is Showing”. (Noel and Phyl Gibson, 1990. Published by Freedom In Christ Ministries Trust: Drummoyne, Australia).
I do have an early background of being (or feeling) rejected and/or abandoned. One feels that after more than 30 years of working on the tendency to protect myself against being rejected again, feeling I don’t make the grade no matter how hard I work blah blah blah… bleat bleat bleat! (no wonder humans were likened to sheep in the Bible…)
With a red face I recall that during the late 1990’s and early years in the new millenium, I wrote articles for Woman Alive magazine on related subjects: “Price of Perfection”; “Curse of Comparison”; “Do You Walk by Faith – or Limp” and “Mind Body and Spirit” (a few others too).
The one I notice I didn’t get round to finishing and get published had the working title: “Reject.” The whole subject was linked in my mind to the children’s TV programme of the late 1980’s to mid 1990’s, “The Raggy Dolls”.
These toys were stamped ‘reject’ and thrown down the reject shute because of various manufacturing faults. Yet they had really special adventures, were interesting characters despite not been stamped ‘accepted’ and supported one another.
The last chorus of the series’ song goes:
“It’s not much of a life when you’re just a pretty face. Just to be whoever you are is no disgrace. Don’t be scared if you don’t fit in, look who’s in the reject bin. It’s the Raggy Dolls, Raggy Dolls, dolls like you and me”
Perhaps I never finished writing the article not because I procrastinated (although that would be a possibility…) but because I wasn’t ‘brewed’ enough yet, I still struggled to put the “Accepted” label on myself.
GeniusWithin’s diagram of positive attributes for my particular ND profile (ADHD – I, dyspraxia, mild dyslexia and occassional Asperger type characteristics) indicates my attributes as
|innovation, rapport, awareness of others, creative abilities, novel thinking, energy and passion, visual thinking, more creative abilities, connecting ideas, at times concentration and fine detail processing.|
I posted that list on their comments box and commented excitedly: “I’m like an exotic flower in a bouquet of daisies. ”
They posted back:
Yesss!! what a lovely affirmation (Nancy does know me by the way) ACCEPTED!
So, I make a decision today to accept myself (even if no one else does) and see that just because, like The Raggy Dolls, they didn’t fit someone’s criteria of acceptance,
I AM ACCEPTABLE TO ME AND THE ONE WHO MADE ME!
Everyone else: “Get over it!”
ANY OTHER ‘RAGGY DOLLS’ OUT THERE WANT TO JOIN ME?